Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
