walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
