Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
