As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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