New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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