remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
