All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
barbara walters just said penis...
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
