whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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