Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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