you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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