Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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