I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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