is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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