My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Randomize
