We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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