Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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