how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
