Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
do nipples grow back?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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