I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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