No awkward lesbian experiences without me
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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