what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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