I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
