If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
this just has baby written all over it
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just want nice things and good sex
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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