dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
