I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
