so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
