I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
