You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
