he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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