I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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