let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm determined to sit on that face.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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