Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
