come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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