I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
