He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
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we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
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I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
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