hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
