let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
