His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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