2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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