Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
