I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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