Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I love having hate sex.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
