There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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