I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
