Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
