I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
