His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
