I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
