Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
