Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
