hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
