my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
