to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
