It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Randomize
