so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
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