I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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