there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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