we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize