I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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